lonely..

i have no shame in accepting the fact that my mind has succumbed to the desire of my heart.
the heart doesn't see right or wrong, it only knows what it wants and is willing to do what ever it takes to get what it wants. it is only because that the heart cannot see the, mind can creep up from behind and try to restore order.
my life has been a mix of things. but my heart has always gotten what ever it has desired on its due time. the only condition being that the desire has to be pure and only one.
i have been termed stupid, even mad for following my heart. most of the people whom i have asked say "don't trust the heart blindly, it will fail you. use your mind". every time i have used my mind, it has failed me to get what i have wanted. i have realised that i have struggled so far because my heart and my mind were not working in the same direction, for the same thing. so eventually i used to end up losing by both heart and mind.
since the heart never listens, cause it never does, i decided to make my mind work in the direction of my heart . mind only understands logic. it doesnt see a point in the heart wanting to be with someone. but the logic is simple, if the heart is captivated by someone then the mind becomes free from the heart. the mind can think more logically away from the disturbing heart. the problem is that the heart just doesn't want to belong to any one, but it only wants to be with with whom- it likes. doesn't matter if the mind approves of the person or not. heart sees things differently. it only wants someone whom it can belong to, who will take care of it for ever and ever. who will never break it. so where do we find such a person ?
when, where , how we are going to find that someone whom the heart wants are the questions which no one can answer besides the maker himself, cause he is the one who has made that person who will lok after your heart . so if he has made him/her then he is bound to know, but he is not going to tell you. he doesnt want to spoil his joy of seeing you find your match.
every time i have seen her , it has been like i am seeing her for the first time. there have not been many times, only five occasions when i have seen her. at her first sight i have lost a beat , lungs gasping for air. she came close started talking, setting me at ease. may be she didn't notice how awe struck i was or she did notice but never showed. sitting across the table, i was lost. i didnt feel the need to talk, she was doing it for me. her hand was in my hand just for the fraction but that fraction has stayed with me ever since.
in which moment of time my heart belonged to her i dont know. but its too late for me to turn back. unfortunately there is no way to move ahead. her heart has already been taken. who ever has occupied it must be a big man, cause he has not even left a corner or a nook for me to sneak in. the fact of the matter is , my heart is sold out but there are no takers. i know she is young, she has a long way to go. with time she will grow. for me i have weathered many stroms, this is just a nudge. she is also doing the same as me, following her heart. it has found someone who will look after it. so what if that someone is not me .
every dream doesnt meet reality..
some stories are ment to be incomplete ...
some hearts are ment to be lonely...