और भी है कहने को

कुछ दिन ऐसे भी गुजर कर देख लो

बाते तो रोज होती है, बिना बातों के भी देख लो

मज़ा तो मिलने मै बहुत है, इंतजार कर के भी देख लो

जो आसानी से मिल जाए वह प्यार ही क्या

प्यार मै अगर ना टूटे तो वो दिल ही क्या

महफिल हो अपनो की,

पर तुम न हो तो वोह महफिल ही क्या

ख्वाब सजाए तेरे, पर ये नींद ना आए

याद सताए तेरी मुझे चैन ना आए

तुम ही कह दो मुझे अब हम जाए तो कहां जाए...

Unexpected Pause

Some times you want to do something but you are very indecisive about doing it. Then you are looking for a sign or want someone to force that decision on you. 

Forced decisions are a blessing when the decision is favouring you. In a coin toss there are only two outcomes if you are using a normal coin but this game can be rigged by having a coin with head on both sides. 

"We have email" and I can write to you directly. But I also have a blog where I can write as much as I want leave it up to you some come up here and read it when you are takine break from your studies and wondering where I am at. 

Its funny how I got my reddit account suspended and leaving you without a word. And I am treating this as a blessing in discuise. The timing is just perfect, as you need to go into the deep end of studies with the exams near. 

Please bear with with me as I am on a forced pause.I will be back :)

The duality of mind

Contradictions exist and they exist for a good reason. They create the necessary balance to create harmony. We are extreme opposite of each other and that is what is drawing us towards each other.

 You bring me joy which I have not felt in a long time. You give me hope of finding love.  

And still this mind dives deep into the sea of depression. This sea was creating by accumulating drops of sorrow & pain. But I am not talk about it in "The bottom"

Here I am going to talk about the duality of my mind. How I can be an adult grown man on one hand and on another hand I am this child who is still playing with dolls. 

all eyes tell a story

"Eye are the windown to the soul"

She looked at my eyes and she blurted "OMG you have sad eyes, why?"

I paused.I knew, anything I say will not make any sense to her or me. but I could not ignore her so I said "my eyes are like that only" 

I had an after thought so I added "Me no find love me keep looking" 

Here is where I knew I am done for, a 44 year man talking incomprehensibly like this has obviously lost his mind. Words are the weapon of choice for a wise man and I do like to think I am one. But I have my flaws.

As Elvis said it aptly "Wise man say only fools fall in love..."

At the slightest hint of love I have alway been ready to jump, head first into the abyss - leaving behind all my accumulated wisdom aside. 

By my experience, while I have continued this quest for love for a long time. But during this while all I have found are lost souls. and I am only talking about the phenomenon of internet. 

I know this is wrong, but I still want to do it. Because all I see is hope. the hope to find - true love. Any other kind of love is not wort the effort. 

So indeed I have lost mind and that explains everything. 

P.S. loving you will be my method in madness. I am just giving it another try.

Wondering

What if? - This is a typical scenario which we have to tackle, be it life in general or business. As we move forward, I am only going to talk about life, there will be no reference to any business. However business is a part of life so lets just say if that topic comes up then we will address it accordingly.

So lets get to this scenario, what if I have finally found my soulmate ? Yes, you are reading it right. Its a silly question to be wondering upon. Specially consider my past experiences. Some would also say that I have not learned from it. But then, what if this is true ? Should I let the bad experiences of the past play a significant role in how my future can be?

Hope is a four letter word and so is love. Neither have any standing in the relm of rationally. But both of them keep the world going on. without either of them this world would have fallen in utter despair. And some would argue that it is foolish to hope/love. But in my experience a fool is the unlucky one who has failed with hope or love. people just see the failure and laugh at the fool who failed. On the other hand the same people would make a line to celebrate and cherish the success. So I am going to disregard what people will say. Just like I always have been. 

When we have lived long enough, we are bound to experiences the up's and down's of life. No once is free from this boundage of life. life treats everyone equally. For the belivers, I will say its the karma. We reap what we sow. Anyhow, I am not saying this is it. But I am just going to give it a chance and see where this will lead. 

So my answer to - what if ?

Is - So be it!

To the end & a new beginning 😃 

Marooned

every now and then I find myslef lost. It is a daily struggle to keep up with life. to be very honest, life itself has been dragging me along for sometime now.

my mind is sullen, broken. so is my heart. either one in a working condition is a must to keep me driving through life. but here I am drifting clueless towards an unknown fate. 

I am not afraid to die. Death would be kind of a liberation. many years ago I told someone my biggest fear was to end up alone. now I am not even afraid of that. I have sucessfully managed to cut of so many people. over a period of time I have become good at it. 

this world seems a very lonely place. even when you are surrounded by people its so empty. maybe having people around makes it worst. 

love is a solution to problems which it own creats. self love is true love indeed. but then intelligence and consciences are like termites eating away into your existence. I can't even believe in the idea of god anymore. 

the real problem starts when you start seeing through people. it creeps them out. no one wants to be around a creep. their secrets are not safe.  

what is darkness ? in simple terms it is unknow, unfathomable. the light can reach only so far. anything and everything beyond light is darkness. 

hope is a vessel which allows us a passage through this darkness. maybe I need more humbling experiences to get my feet to the ground. That is something I really miss. I want to find my anchor.... 

Distraction

I kept staring at the sky, wonder if it was also looking back. The feeling of weightlessly floating is something which is best experienced than described. to be honest most of the feelings are like that. only a person who has experienced a heart break knows how it feels. For someone who has never experienced it, will never know the pain. For them it is a matter of redicule.

As the pain set in, it brought me back to reality. I sense a hand reaching out and lifting me up. I was still wondering what happened, why was I sleeping on the road. I saw my bike at a distance from me. maybe I got into an accident. As I was trying to figure out what could have happened, then I heard someone from the crowd say "She hit you..."

my mind went into a frenzy trying to figure out who could it be. would she go to such an extent to get back at me ? my expressions were possibly a reflection of my mind at that time because some people shiftly moved me to a nearby stall and offered me water. That definately help me gain a part of my sense. though the thought of her was internally killing me. how can someone hate me so much ? what did I do to them ? was this all because of a heartbreak? 

As my train of thoughs continued my eyes fell on a fellow biker who had stopped to check if I needed help. he was still at a distance so I just gave him a thumps up. He understood the signal and went along his way. I had some more water and then had the tea which was specially made for me.  after comine to the stall, most of the crowd has dispersed. the stall owner and his helper were still hovering around me. They also got me a pain killer and oinment to relieve my pain.  

now that I was feeling better my mind came on her. I made a question sign to ask them what happened. They pointed and said, she hit you. She came between you and her baby. I reacted as quickly as I could with all that pain to realize "Holy Cow....!"

Apparently I was brougt down by a cow who was trying to save her calf from harm. for some reason it took me - a biker moving at a slow speed on the side lanes as a threat and had disloadged me off my bike.  I was lucky to take a hit from a cow and still be standing. 

God damn it, why didn't they just tell me it was a cow in the first place....